It’s happened to the best of us and worst of us, so let’s just get this out of the way first: don’t feel bad. Whether or not you’re the reason she’s not answering your texts, it’s happened to just about everybody, so don’t worry. Let’s just analyze this together.
You got her number finally, whether it was in person at a bar or club or wherever it is that you people hang out, or via some sort of newfangled dating app that’s all the rage these days. Maybe you were at a work function, or quite simply at work. Regardless of what the situation surrounding the number getting was, it’s likely, it went something like:
“Things are going great. She seems to really be into me, she’s laughing at most of my jokes and we’re having a real rapport here!” you think to yourself before saying something like “We should keep talking, want to exchange numbers?” She gives it to you, and you’re all like “I am irresistible, I’ve still got it!”
Only to be cut down in less than 24 hours or so when you excitedly text her something that you find clever, possibly even an inside joke like “Hey it’s that guy with the party tie [emoji]”. I shouldn’t have to tell you that your first mistake was the emoji, but regardless, she isn’t answering. You send another passive text like “Let me know if you want to chat or get together sometime!” Still nothing.
It’s time to face facts buddy. She isn’t answering because she doesn’t want to. It’s that simple, no matter how much it hurts. It’s time to move on, and I’m here to help you do that by looking into some of the reasons this phenomenon happens and why guys are always so puzzled about it. I spoke to some women I’m close to about what goes through the mind of a woman when she gives out her number for good measure. Let’s go over the most common reasons.
She’s Got a Man
This is in regards to having obtained her number IRL (in real life for you grandpas). Some girls just want to have fun. You guys were chatting, the focus wasn’t particularly flirtatious, but since she was a girl, and you were likely a single guy doing your single-mingle thing, you cap the conversation by asking for her number. She gives it to you because she doesn’t want to hurt her your feelings and ruin the moment you guys just had, as potentially platonic friends.
Now, she doesn’t want to embarrass you by telling you “I’ve actually got a boyfriend so leave me be.” If she’s any kind of decent gal, this probably wouldn’t make her feel great, so she’s saving you both the heartache. Consider how the alternative would make you feel.
She Lost Interest or Wasn’t All That Interested to Begin With
Just take a minute to think about all the people you’ve given your number to with absolutely zero intention of ever talking to them again. I bet you wouldn’t even be able to remember how many times this has happened because I sure can’t. Just because the two of you got on while chatting, it doesn’t necessarily mean this thing needs to keep going.
It’s entirely possible that she was pretty interested at the time, and considered things after the fact, realizing there wasn’t a whole lot of reason she gave out her number in the first place. She wasn’t that interested and now she’d rather not respond with “Sorry I gave you my number, I’m just not interested.” You might think her being this forthcoming about it would make you feel better, but it wouldn’t trust me.
She Has a Life Beyond Your Text
We get so caught up in our own business that it’s easy to forget other people have a universal load of business of their own that has absolutely nothing to do with us. It’s not that she doesn’t care about your feelings or that she wasn’t into you, it’s that she simply doesn’t have the time to be flirty and didn’t think about it when she exchanged numbers with you.
Life happened. Something came up. She doesn’t have the time for you that she thought she might for whatever reason. All of this leads to the final and most important point of all.
You Don’t Really Want To Know
If she just isn’t answering, it’s the universe telling you something. Or perhaps just her telling something, silence speaks volumes and all that. She was never going to answer and there was never really anything you could do about it.
Sure it hurts a little, but do you really want to know that you were actually just too short for her? Or that you weren’t funny to her and she was pretending to laugh at all of your jokes? Or that she had a boyfriend and she was just kind of playing around on a night out? Don’t pretend you haven’t done all of these things to someone else.
It’s time to move on man, and that’s okay. You’ll feel a lot better the second you make the decision to do so. If she does answer back though, we've got you covered there too.